You’ll think ‘Of course my child’s success is mine.’ And what about their failure? You’ll promptly reply ‘Yes, they too are mine.’ There is nothing wrong if the parent feels proud of the child’s success and takes responsibility to help their children improvise in case they fail. But what happens when parents cross this line and start relating their child’s achievements or downfalls as their own. Are you one of those?
Do you consider your child your status symbol?
When your child doesn’t perform in front of guests or doesn’t bag prizes, do you feel embarrassed or ashamed? You may be a CEO of your company or a successful entrepreneur, remember your children are yet to discover their identity. They are yet to learn from their mistakes, yet to live their life.
Are you in competition with other parents?
Swimming classes at the club, guitar classes at home, dance classes at the academy, weekend classes of ‘How to improve your Maths.’ Are you trying to create a super kid so that you can boast to be a supermom?
Are you trying to fulfil your dreams through your child?
Every parent has dreams of their children. And while dreaming, they want their children to have all that they don’t have, achieve what they couldn’t. Let your child weave their own dreams and not get crushed under your pressure.
Are you living solely for your child?
Parents sometimes start thinking, doing and living only for their child and stop living their own life. Too much involvement has an adverse effect on a child’s growth and they just can’t step out of their parent’s shadow.
Is all this causing irreparable damage?
Yes, it is. You are unknowingly killing your child’s natural abilities, depriving them to come out with their true colours, taking away from them their golden childhood, marring their confidence and independence. Accept the fact that your child is the most beautiful and important part of your life but certainly not your whole life.
This article appeared in Hindustan Times