HELP YOUR CHILD FIND POSITIVE ROLE MODELS

Every success story gives us hope that there is no limit to success. Lives of extraordinary people show that no one is born great but can work to be great. Pass on this inspiration to your child by making him aware of how great men and women of the world have achieved great heights.

You yourself are the most influential role model

You yourself are the most influential role model

Children take their parents as their role models. Exhibit all the qualities you wish your child has. Say sorry if you want your child to accept his faults, respect elders to make your child mannered, be kind to others to in still generosity, set goals and achieve them to motivate your child and so on.

Praise your child when he demonstrates the same qualities

When your child takes up a community project or shows perseverance in his game or performs on the stage with the confidence of a star, lavishly praise your child. Also explain to him how he is closely following his idols.

Help him identify positive and role models

Read books on historical figures, make a scrapbook of successful people, discuss the newspaper to show how people are solving social issues. discuss their qualities and help him choose his role models.

Let your child choose his role models

May it be a bollywood star, a cricketer, a painter, a singer – let your child decide which personality inspires him. Don’t criticize his choice even if you disagree. Look for positive aspects like the hard work done by that person and be specific if you don’t like something instead of saying ‘he is bad.’

Let your child imagine to be like his role model

Your child will get pumped up when he’ll imagine he is serving aces like Sania Mires on the tennis court, delivering his speech like Indira Gandhi or leading his team like the prime minister. He’ll be motivated to absorb qualities of their role models and tread on the path of success in life.

This article appeared in Hindustan Times

DON’T WORRY ABOUT CHILD’S LIES BUT THE REASON BEHIND THEM

Parents react to their child’s lies with anger, shock, and disillusionment. Scolding, being angry at them or telling them how disappointed you are would make them realize they have done something wrong. But this won’t solve the problem of lying. Find out and analyze the root cause which made your child hide the truth.

Do you yourself lie?

Children copy and act like their parents. If the father asks the child to say on the phone he is not at home or the mother asks the child not to tell papa, lying becomes a perfectly normal way of dealing with issues in life for the child.

Does your child fear you?

positive parenting tips by sudha gupta

The most common reason for lying is fear of a parent’s anger, scolding or fear of disappointing them. Make your child so confident and assured of your love that they stop fearing your reaction.

Does your child lack self-esteem?

positive parenting tips toddler

Children may lie to appear better, prove themselves to be stronger, more intelligent. This is all because your child lacks self-confidence. Boost their self-esteem with your love and appreciation.

Does he need more attention?

positive parenting tips for toddlers

Lying about stomach ache or being hit by another child are ways to seek a parent’s attention. Analyze if you are neglecting your child or being overprotective.

Do you teach your child the difference between right and wrong?

positive parenting

As parents, you need to continuously teach your child ethics and values. By setting an example yourself, strengthen the child’s will power and conscience so that they follow the path of truth.

A relationship of love and trust with the child will assure them to tell you everything rather than resort to lies.

This article appeared in Hindustan Times

YOU ARE A HUMAN FIRST AND A PARENT LATER

Parents often forget who they are and start living solely for their children. This is not something to be proud of but rather something to worry about. This approach is neither healthy for oneself or for the parent child relationship. So don’t sacrifice yourself, live your life, be happy, only then can your be the best parent to your child.

Be Realistic

Don’t set unrealistic expectations from yourself that you should do everything for your child and give them the best. You too can make errors, make wrong judgments, sometimes you may not have enough titan. Don’t let guilt rule you. Forgive yourself and pat your back for all the good things you have done for your child.

Love yourself

Only a person who loves himself can give love to others. Be a role model for your child to impart this lesson of life. Show him how much you love and respect yourself.

 Pamper yourself

Don’t just drive around your child to hobby classes or make plans for their outings. At times take the time to relax with your friends or your partner, do what you have longed to do in life and return to your child feeling rejuvenated and happy.  

Face yourself

 Analyze your strengths and your weaknesses as a human being. Be open with your child to admit these are the areas I need to work upon while these are the attributes I feel proud of. Your child will be proud of you and learn to marvel at their strong points and accept  weaknesses.

Trust yourself

Trust your instincts. Trust your intentions that you and only you can think the best for his child. Never brood over what has happened. Think ahead and create a wonderful family with beautiful happy children.

This article appeared in Hindustan Times

IS THERE A HOTLINE BETWEEN YOU AND YOUR CHILD?

An open communication with your child is the only way to understand, comprehend and appreciate what your chid is going through and guide them through. To improve communication with your child, follow these golden rules.

Listen to your child

Communication with your child will open up only if you are a good listener. Listen with interest, attention and patience. Don’t cut down the conversation; let him complete what he has to say.

Be empathetic

Show your child that you understand their   point of view, respect their feelings, can feel the pain or joy. Reflect the feelings by saying ‘It seems that less marks have really upset you’ or ‘You are feeling bad for your friend, aren’t you?.

Share your feelings

Your child will learn to express when you  share your  thoughts with them. Discuss about your day, how you feel about the new project, your misunderstandings with colleagues and so on.

Master the art of conversation

Don’t have a monologue. Ask questions that prompt them to elaborate on their thoughts and be forthcoming. Give them the space- don’t pester them to talk when   not in a mood.

Base your relationship on love and trust

Your child needs to find a confidant in you. It is only then would they talk to you about anything without fear and seek solace in your arms.

This article appeared in Hindustan Times

ARE YOU TRYING TO RAISE A SUPER KID?

Parents are generally in masked competition amongst themselves. The measure of a successful is parent is how many skills the child knows as compared to other children, resulting in enrolling the child in every possible coaching and talent class. But the temptation to be called a super parent may be detrimental for the child and cost them dearly.

Natural abilities are killed

Engaging and enrolling the child in various coaching and talent classes , doesn’t give them the time to  think, observe and analyse. It takes away the opportunity from the child   to discover their innate qualities and excel.

Stress takes away the charm

You may think you are planning well for your child’s successful life but this kind of pressure will leave your child stressed out and unhappy. Deep down, they may always blame you for not letting them fulfil their dreams.

Originality is marred

A child accustomed to be coached for everything, can never generate ideas of their own. They’ll never question the status quo. This would make them a follower and never a leader.

Life is the real coach

Confidence, communication skills, decision-making, problem solving – all these life skills are a must for success and are acquired not with coaching but by living life to the full. Give your child the freedom and time to think,    speak, do little things that may seem a waste of time for you but will prove to be invaluable for their growth.

Childhood is over before time

With those back to back coaching classes, where is the time left for the child to play in the park, to get wet in the rain with the friends, to read stories in bed. Let your child enjoy the golden days of childhood and keep the child alive in him forever.

This article appeared in Hindustan Times

BE A ROLE MODEL FOR YOUR CHILD

Home is child’s first school and parents the first and most influential teacher.

A child inherits not only genes from parents but also their opinions, behaviour, language, beliefs, values and attitude. Children observe and emulate their parents consciously and sub consciously which forms the base of their personality.

 Role model for Traditional values

Respect for elders, family ties, festivals, love for the country is easily absorbed by the child when they experience same around them.

Role model for Ethics and values

Don’t lie or ill-treat others especially in front of your children. Do small acts of charity.   Make your child compassionate human beings by setting an example.

 Role model for Behaviour and language

If you act aggressive, don’t be surprised if your child’s becomes quarrelsome. Use refined language to keep your child away from foul language.

Role model for Relationships

A child loses faith in relation-ships if they experiences ugly scenes at home. Love and mutual understanding between parents ensures loving and caring children.

 Role model for Life skills

Let your child imbibe confidence, communication skills, and positive attitude from you.

You need not always hold your child’s finger to guide him. Leave footprints of right upbringing, he will find his own way.

This article appeared in Hindustan Times

HELP YOUR CHILD CONTROL AGGRESSION

Aggression in children can be due to many reasons – genetic, family, and environment. Where influence of genes is not in our control, the ambience around the child can be made positive especially at home. The role of parents is of utmost importance to help the child to control his aggression, analyse the cause and formulate channels to divert this energy in the right way.

Cause of aggression can be many

Stress and unhealthy relations at home; violent programs on television or aggressive peer group. Even inappropriate methods of discipline by teachers go a long way in deciding the level of aggression in a child. The need is to minimize the effect of these factors.

Teach coping skills

It is important that you let your child express his/her thoughts and emotions. As adults we need to Listen to the child. Guide them with their emotions and together formulate ways to articulate them.

Never criticize; the need is to Talk to your child

When your child is calm, bring to their notice how the behavior was hurtful for everyone and especially to one’s own happiness. Stories on aggressive behavior are an effective means to send signals to the child. When your child exhibits restraint in his/her aggression, appreciate them.

Plan activities for your child

As per their interests. Encourage your child for activities like skating, yoga, taekwondo-do, swimming or other outdoor sports. These activities are believed to bring positivity and a sense of happiness and wellbeing.

Be a role model

If you use aggression to express your emotions, don’t expect your child to act cool. Children watch and follow their parents closely. Hence practise what you preach to your child.

This article appeared in Hindustan Times

YOUR CHILD NEEDS YOU MORE THAN THE BOOKS DURING EXAMS

It is exam time again. Parents like it when they see their child studying. They often pat him saying this way you’ll surely score 90% and leave the room without realizing their words have added to their child’s stress. Exam is a time when children need the most love and support of parents. Check if you are extending to your child the support they needs.

 Set realistic expectations

Motivate but never pressurize the child. Set targets according to the child’s abilities and not as per your aspirations. High expectations will constantly make your child feel stressed.

Create a happy and calm atmosphere

Don’t create anxiety during exams. You may reduce screen time and outings   but don’t stop your child from enjoying life altogether. Allow them to meet friends and play. This will only help refresh their minds.

Be a source of confidence

Appreciate their talents and recognise his achievements. Reassure your child that you are proud of him/her   remind him of all his qualities and tell him you are proud of him.

Inspire to win, without inducing fear of failure

Success is not about marks. It is   life skills like confidence, problem solving, positive attitude that help a person to attain success. So failures are not the end but a means to test and develop all these skills.

Express unconditional love

Children take stress from the fact that if they don’t score well, their parents will be disappointed. Marks are not the yardstick for love and Assure your child that your love and deference. This assurance goes a long way in building confidence in the child and motivates them to perform their best.

This article appeared in Hindustan Times

CULTIVATE CREATIVITY IN KIDS

Every child holds within himself a promise that there is a newer and different way to do things. Otherwise mankind would not invent, innovate and progress further with every generation. As parents, we need to encourage the natural ability of our child to be creative.

Give extensive exposure

Introduce your child to all sorts of environments, people and stimuli from a young age itself to widen his perception.

Provide ample opportunity

Give your child the chance to experience and experiment with all kinds of things so that he can explore his strengths and extend his interests.

Give complete support

Let your child have your full support to the best of your ability, in terms of material, time, facility and personal attention, whenever he chooses to do something with commitment.

Never ridicule the child’s efforts

Don’t ever laugh at your child’s efforts. No one starts by being perfect. So, whether it is the painting of a dog which looks like a monster or his attempt to build a clock which looks like nothing on earth, don’t hurt his feelings by laughing at him.

Always show your appreciation

Not only for the end result, but for his effort, commitment and patience too. Your praise will encourage him like nothing else will.

This article appeared in Hindustan Times

ENCOURAGE YOUR CHILD TO PARTICIPATE, REGARDLESS OF WINING OR LOSING

Success is not about winning but being happy with ones abilities and achievements. As parents, how you respond to your child’s attempts in any field will define the word ‘success’ for him and eventually determine the spirit with which he will lead the rest of his life. Therefore, if you want your child to truly succeed in life, appreciate his efforts and encourage him to participate.

Each child is unique

Where one child excels in class, the other may be a leader in field. So, don’t expect your child to succeed in every task. This will create undue pressure on him, thus marring his natural abilities.

Pushing may disturb child’s balance

If you just emphasize on winning, he may develop a fear of failure and may refuse to participate or he may become over ambitious and may not be able to take failures in his stride.

Parents are the confidence boosters

Don’t show your child how disheartened you are at his losing but be glad at his attempt. Parent’s reaction can either make or break a child’s confidence.

Wrong reasons distort child’s perceptions

Don’t ever tell your child that the judgment was unfair or biased. This will induce negative emotions of envy, jealousy and anger towards people performing better than him.

Foster the spirit of participation

Your encouragement at each step to participate, without the fear of outcome, will eventually help your child discover his hidden qualities, make him confident and infuse in him the zeal to explore and try new things. Thus, widening his horizons and opening a world of possibilities for him.

This article appeared in Hindustan Times